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brian
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does this squat rack make me look fat?
brian
Thursday, 10 September 2015
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weights
dumbbells
carnivals
barkers
guessing
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"nobody likes a kidney punch, know what i'm sayin'?"
brian
Wednesday, 09 September 2015
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ribs
mafia
kidneys
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which is still one more time than ted cruz
brian
Wednesday, 02 September 2015
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clocks
broken clocks
idiots
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and please don't tell me what happens to deniro in "the intern"
brian
Tuesday, 01 September 2015
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psychics
spoilers
spoiler alert
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i'd love a seltzer in february.
brian
Saturday, 29 August 2015
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cactus
plants
bars
drinks
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also an indian with a machete
brian
Thursday, 27 August 2015
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stop signs
precursors
traffic
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thanks for clarifying
brian
Tuesday, 25 August 2015
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idiots
collarbones
wordsmiths
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"no shirt, no juggling balls, no service"
brian
Friday, 21 August 2015
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bicycles
unicycles
cafes
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and when am i gonna get that five bucks you owe me?
brian
Tuesday, 18 August 2015
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idiots
death
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you're one step away from being in a drink
brian
Monday, 17 August 2015
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umbrellas
Sun
hats
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dog talk shows
brian
Friday, 14 August 2015
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dogs
talk shows
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vacuum braggarts
brian
Wednesday, 12 August 2015
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vacuums
dust
trophies
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oddly enough, cousin of louis c.k.
brian
Friday, 07 August 2015
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pussies
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the paintbrush was the first selfie stick
brian
Tuesday, 04 August 2015
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selfies
artists
rembrandt
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usually scratches off "void if removed" box
brian
Thursday, 30 July 2015
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lottery
ATMs
idiots
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long time no see, trapezius!
brian
Tuesday, 28 July 2015
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gyms
muscles
memory
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and how come there isn't a shower in our apartment?
brian
Monday, 27 July 2015
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jail
idiots
rent
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i got my heart rate up to 44 while urinating
brian
Friday, 24 July 2015
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buckingham palace
fitbit
exercise
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he also juggles chainsaws but they're not turned on
brian
Thursday, 23 July 2015
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sword swallower
heimlich
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and there's a ten trillion dollar reward!
brian
Tuesday, 21 July 2015
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superheroes
idiots
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why can't you be as good as lyle, barney or tristan!?!
brian
Sunday, 19 July 2015
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dogs
idiots
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and he pops blackheads with pliers
brian
Friday, 17 July 2015
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dermatologist
mean
assholes
acne
jerks
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and my time magazine was missing a page!
brian
Thursday, 16 July 2015
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stamps
post office
lawsuits
idiots
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dumb ass!
brian
Sunday, 12 July 2015
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drugs
idiots
border patrol
smugglers
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we really need taylor swift to write them a letter for us
brian
Friday, 10 July 2015
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spotify
monkeys
organ grinders
music
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