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brian
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vacuum braggarts
brian
Wednesday, 12 August 2015
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vacuums
dust
trophies
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oddly enough, cousin of louis c.k.
brian
Friday, 07 August 2015
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pussies
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the paintbrush was the first selfie stick
brian
Tuesday, 04 August 2015
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selfies
artists
rembrandt
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usually scratches off "void if removed" box
brian
Thursday, 30 July 2015
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lottery
ATMs
idiots
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long time no see, trapezius!
brian
Tuesday, 28 July 2015
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gyms
muscles
memory
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and how come there isn't a shower in our apartment?
brian
Monday, 27 July 2015
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jail
idiots
rent
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i got my heart rate up to 44 while urinating
brian
Friday, 24 July 2015
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buckingham palace
fitbit
exercise
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he also juggles chainsaws but they're not turned on
brian
Thursday, 23 July 2015
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sword swallower
heimlich
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and there's a ten trillion dollar reward!
brian
Tuesday, 21 July 2015
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superheroes
idiots
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why can't you be as good as lyle, barney or tristan!?!
brian
Sunday, 19 July 2015
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dogs
idiots
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and he pops blackheads with pliers
brian
Friday, 17 July 2015
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dermatologist
mean
assholes
acne
jerks
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and my time magazine was missing a page!
brian
Thursday, 16 July 2015
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stamps
post office
lawsuits
idiots
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dumb ass!
brian
Sunday, 12 July 2015
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drugs
idiots
border patrol
smugglers
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we really need taylor swift to write them a letter for us
brian
Friday, 10 July 2015
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spotify
monkeys
organ grinders
music
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candid camera for dysons
brian
Tuesday, 07 July 2015
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practical jokes
maids
dust
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and remember to make 93% of the seats uncomfortable
brian
Monday, 06 July 2015
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wright brothers
airplanes
airports
luggage
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fonzie would not approve
brian
Saturday, 04 July 2015
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fireworks
july 4th
idiots
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why doesn't larry just wear glasses?
brian
Tuesday, 30 June 2015
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litigants
lawsuits
three stooges
idiots
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ha ha, sears!
brian
Friday, 26 June 2015
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jasper
money-savers
sears
television
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and the ban on eye gouging really waters it down
brian
Thursday, 25 June 2015
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mma
death
animals
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and only $7,000 for a blow dry
brian
Monday, 22 June 2015
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rapunzel
hair
highlights
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and the hornet's nest deck isn't permitted!
brian
Wednesday, 17 June 2015
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zillow
ants
insects
real estate
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what alexander graham bell originally intended
brian
Sunday, 14 June 2015
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wrong numbers
telephones
idiots
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mobius strip inc.
brian
Wednesday, 10 June 2015
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3-D printers
idiots
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and the lincoln memorial really wants a pedicure
brian
Monday, 08 June 2015
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statue of liberty
massage
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chapter 11 (17)
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