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he's only a statue because he never got his tetanus shot
brian
Thursday, 29 April 2021
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the ventilator really brings out the gray in his eyes
brian
Monday, 18 January 2021
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wrong question lady
idiots
covid
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all lamb has been vaccinated
brian
Monday, 04 January 2021
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lobsters
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now off to applebee's for blood pressure
brian
Thursday, 24 December 2020
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i'll waive the vig if you guess your cholesterol
brian
Saturday, 28 November 2020
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the hydroxychloroquine bones saved my pug's life
brian
Tuesday, 10 November 2020
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dogs
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asses
from herman cain's chapstick?
brian
Tuesday, 20 October 2020
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game shows
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too many of us are idiots
brian
Monday, 10 August 2020
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maybe he should have said "pre-owned"?
brian
Friday, 24 July 2020
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"there's a pandemic! i want my own can!" -- an anchovy
brian
Monday, 20 July 2020
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sardines
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we'll also need a vaccine for gingivitis
brian
Thursday, 16 July 2020
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i'll be knocking out all your teeth in the next 12-18 months!
brian
Tuesday, 16 June 2020
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bars
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my coulrophobia just went down 90%
brian
Friday, 12 June 2020
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clowns
clown cars
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limos
and you can't borrow my towel, either
brian
Monday, 08 June 2020
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which is wiped out by $400 on hand-sanitizer
brian
Friday, 05 June 2020
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Sun
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that crushed up carton of orange juice was awesome!
brian
Thursday, 04 June 2020
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another ivy leaguer with bad luck
brian
Sunday, 17 May 2020
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salesmen
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mr. versatile
brian
Sunday, 10 May 2020
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bars
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corona porn
brian
Thursday, 07 May 2020
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mouths
melissa
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please toss me my gifts now
brian
Wednesday, 06 May 2020
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the guy who doesn't text
brian
Sunday, 03 May 2020
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whispering
cheating
bartenders
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bring your own straw
brian
Friday, 24 April 2020
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bee best
brian
Tuesday, 21 April 2020
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remember to wash your shared hands
brian
Friday, 17 April 2020
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right lung collapsed
brian
Tuesday, 14 April 2020
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