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brian
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the lettuce is in intensive care
brian
Monday, 18 April 2016
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lettuce
intensive care
expiration dates
milk
death
and stay out of the soup, show-off!
brian
Thursday, 14 April 2016
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knives
forks
unions
silverware
cutlery
be careful not to swallow the tiny harmonica
brian
Monday, 11 April 2016
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violin
tiny violin
whiners
musical instruments
wishful thinking
brian
Friday, 08 April 2016
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heimlich
speakerphone
public places
it's only 1300 fitbit steps to the top of the mountain
brian
Tuesday, 05 April 2016
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sisyphus
cross-training
exercise
giant rocks
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children are dumb!
brian
Thursday, 31 March 2016
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chickens
easter egg hunt
easter
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not quite as exciting as the o.j. trial
brian
Tuesday, 29 March 2016
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small claims court
courtrooms
court
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the leopard's spots are sharpied on by a monkey
brian
Monday, 28 March 2016
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zebras
tattoos
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he also has arthritis in three other arms
brian
Friday, 25 March 2016
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handicap
octopi
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also makes it tougher to steal office supplies
brian
Wednesday, 23 March 2016
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naked
offices
casual fridays
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it's supposed to be 2:30 not 230 B.C.
brian
Friday, 18 March 2016
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daylight savings
ancient history
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rapunzel originally had a shaved head
brian
Tuesday, 15 March 2016
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fairy tales
first drafts
goldilocks
potato chips
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a veritable goldmine in your mouth!
brian
Friday, 11 March 2016
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jasper
money-savers
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feet and calves are underrated
brian
Friday, 04 March 2016
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totem poles
hierarchy
glass ceiling
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hint: there are zero rebeccas
brian
Tuesday, 01 March 2016
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jennifers
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and i'm only leaving 13% tip before the tax
brian
Friday, 26 February 2016
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vultures
splitting checks
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could've squeezed one guy into a badger
brian
Wednesday, 24 February 2016
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idiots
medieval
trojan horse
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barkey's chuckle hut
brian
Monday, 22 February 2016
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comedy
tennis balls
stand-up
dogs
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smoking is finally fun again!
brian
Thursday, 18 February 2016
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aquariums
tracheotomy
tiny scuba divers
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is there a good jazz bar around here?
brian
Monday, 15 February 2016
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and using mustard is cruel and unusual punishment
brian
Friday, 12 February 2016
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pretzels
lawyers
salt
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wesley snipes wish he'd tried this
brian
Friday, 05 February 2016
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unicorns
horses
taxes
existential
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six more weeks of low self-esteem
brian
Tuesday, 02 February 2016
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groundhogs
holidays
fat
exercise
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still more enjoyable than coldplay
brian
Sunday, 31 January 2016
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superbowls
halftime shows
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and no need to listen to the traffic report
brian
Thursday, 28 January 2016
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races
indy 500
email
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Been There, Drawn That
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jasper (21)
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chapter 11 (17)
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