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pick a card any card... then use it to slice my brother's jugular!
Friday, 03 April 2015
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magicians
robert durst
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he does more before 8am than most sloths do all day
Tuesday, 31 March 2015
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snails
type-a
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and typos are immoral!
Monday, 30 March 2015
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letters
employment
jobs
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balancing the ticket
Friday, 27 March 2015
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bipartisanship
politics
bumper stickers
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how do I get on the "please call" list?
Tuesday, 24 March 2015
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lonely
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"nice day" "yep"
Tuesday, 24 March 2015
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small talk
barbers
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no captcha is safe!
Sunday, 22 March 2015
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captchas
robots
the future
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ronda rousey trains the fiat
Thursday, 19 March 2015
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martial arts
cars
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still less freaky than gorbachev's
Monday, 16 March 2015
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birthmarks
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and keep your dick out of my butt
Thursday, 12 March 2015
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idiots
vespas
homophobia
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they'd also need chiropractors
Tuesday, 10 March 2015
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giraffes
large mammals
technology
cell phones
necks
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two sarsaparilla minimum
Friday, 06 March 2015
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karaoke
singing
1850
camptown races
stephen foster
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writers' block
Tuesday, 03 March 2015
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idiots
pens
writers
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at least there's a pleasant breeze
Saturday, 28 February 2015
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fans
idiots
inventions
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also make cockroach sandwiches for lunch
Thursday, 26 February 2015
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money-savers
idiots
staples
silverware
jasper
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at least get a tartar sauce dispenser down there
Tuesday, 24 February 2015
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fish
tacos
food
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If she grows out her sideburns she still has potential
Friday, 20 February 2015
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circus
beards
show business
bearded ladies
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they each get their own lung
Tuesday, 17 February 2015
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twins
large mammals
hearts
internal organs
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fyi, the giraffe is with lyft
Monday, 16 February 2015
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large mammals
uber
nature
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still more entertaining than lingo
Friday, 13 February 2015
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game shows
show business
idiots
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also the world's fastest mailman
Thursday, 12 February 2015
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mailmen
worlds worst
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and bed bugs have a place to sleep
Tuesday, 10 February 2015
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insects
show business
employment
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the only clock that's correct is the one in mrs. kolodny's saturn
Monday, 09 February 2015
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clocks
time
appliances
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and easy on the crickets
Thursday, 05 February 2015
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nature
insects
small mammals
large mammals
allergies
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his dental plan only covers cleanings
Monday, 02 February 2015
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dentists
braces
walruses
large mammals
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See Brian discuss his book on the Hallmark channel
Read the NY Times piece Brian wrote
Read about
Brian and Sam on Salon
See Brian and Sam on 'THE LIST'
Been There, Drawn That
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chapter 11 (17)
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