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and the head gasket on your camry is cracked
Thursday, 30 April 2015
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Tags:
psychics
guns
scams
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doug's optometry office was always bustling
Monday, 27 April 2015
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Tags:
optometrists
cheating
eye exams
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my doppelganger's in the third urinal
Thursday, 23 April 2015
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Tags:
gum
douchebags
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he also skypes with himself
Wednesday, 22 April 2015
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Tags:
lonely
mr. lonely
telephones
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sesame noodles sent directly to esophagus
Tuesday, 21 April 2015
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chinese food
fortune cookies
kindles
iPads
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what john kerry will soon realize
Saturday, 18 April 2015
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fail3
Tags:
iran
nuclear weapons
uranium
combs
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they were still waiting to hear back from "america's got talent"
Wednesday, 15 April 2015
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Tags:
babies
music
corpses
bands
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from silver to gold
Tuesday, 14 April 2015
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age
old
world records
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h2no
Friday, 10 April 2015
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california
drought
spit takes
jerry brown
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at least he didn't confuse up and down
Wednesday, 08 April 2015
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Tags:
lost
pilots
airplanes
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his favorite position is corpse pose
Monday, 06 April 2015
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Tags:
depression
yoga
carbon monoxide
incense
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pick a card any card... then use it to slice my brother's jugular!
Friday, 03 April 2015
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Tags:
magicians
robert durst
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he does more before 8am than most sloths do all day
Tuesday, 31 March 2015
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snails
type-a
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and typos are immoral!
Monday, 30 March 2015
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Tags:
letters
employment
jobs
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balancing the ticket
Friday, 27 March 2015
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Tags:
bipartisanship
politics
bumper stickers
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how do I get on the "please call" list?
Tuesday, 24 March 2015
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Tags:
lonely
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"nice day" "yep"
Tuesday, 24 March 2015
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Tags:
small talk
barbers
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no captcha is safe!
Sunday, 22 March 2015
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Tags:
captchas
robots
the future
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ronda rousey trains the fiat
Thursday, 19 March 2015
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Tags:
martial arts
cars
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still less freaky than gorbachev's
Monday, 16 March 2015
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birthmarks
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and keep your dick out of my butt
Thursday, 12 March 2015
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Tags:
idiots
vespas
homophobia
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they'd also need chiropractors
Tuesday, 10 March 2015
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Tags:
giraffes
large mammals
technology
cell phones
necks
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two sarsaparilla minimum
Friday, 06 March 2015
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karaoke
singing
1850
camptown races
stephen foster
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writers' block
Tuesday, 03 March 2015
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idiots
pens
writers
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at least there's a pleasant breeze
Saturday, 28 February 2015
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fans
idiots
inventions
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See Brian discuss his book on the Hallmark channel
Read the NY Times piece Brian wrote
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Brian and Sam on Salon
See Brian and Sam on 'THE LIST'
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