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brian
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"also, how am i able to type so accurately with no fingers?"
brian
Monday, 01 May 2017
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Cartoons
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dogs
google
fire hydrants
please frisk me!
brian
Wednesday, 26 April 2017
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mr. lonely
cops
hot chocolate
no spit takes until the apocalypse
brian
Friday, 21 April 2017
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saliva
spit takes
envelopes
emergencies
emergency
but they do like to travel up the ball return
brian
Tuesday, 18 April 2017
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clowns
bowling
bowling shoes
buy one onion ring get a free mozzarella stick!
brian
Friday, 07 April 2017
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witness protection
improv
65g7tjgatgjajea!!!!
brian
Tuesday, 04 April 2017
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iphones
dating
passwords
love hurts
brian
Friday, 31 March 2017
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dogs
bad blind dates
blind dates
sex
let's at least invest in some tabasco
brian
Wednesday, 29 March 2017
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vultures
hibachi
we wish you had one, too
brian
Sunday, 26 March 2017
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dogs
anal glands
tails
tail envy
the main reason octopi die
brian
Thursday, 23 March 2017
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octopi
octopus
smoking
seventh-hand smoke
second-hand smoke
although on a train he kinda sticks out
brian
Monday, 20 March 2017
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flight risk
courtrooms
court
icarus
now download snapchat!
brian
Thursday, 16 March 2017
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dogs
instagram
millenials
tricks
turbo snail
brian
Tuesday, 14 March 2017
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snails
speeding
cops
sister souljah's on the road
brian
Saturday, 11 March 2017
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father time
mother nature
kid rock
my jaw has carpal tunnel
brian
Monday, 06 March 2017
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boomerangs
dogs
tennis balls
balls
btw: kibble wasn't tasty the first time, pal!
brian
Saturday, 04 March 2017
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dogs
pizza
kibble
dog years
dog food
let me light your cigarette! please let me light your cigarette!!!
brian
Tuesday, 28 February 2017
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arson
arsonist
bridge-burning
bridges
also hard to pay for
brian
Friday, 24 February 2017
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glue
books
libraries
bookstores
or a really late midnight snack
brian
Tuesday, 21 February 2017
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lunch
dinner
early dinner
weight loss
sorry
brian
Saturday, 18 February 2017
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apologies
apology guy
apology
and leave room for some flattened entrails for dessert!
brian
Wednesday, 15 February 2017
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vultures
broccoli
road kill
groundhogs
stop hogging all the hair!
brian
Wednesday, 08 February 2017
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rapunzel
propecia
baldness
hair
and stop stretching out all your sweaters!
brian
Friday, 03 February 2017
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superheroes
mothers
plasticman
selfies
he'll also drive you home for free
brian
Wednesday, 01 February 2017
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mr. lonely
airport
hugs
that's practically a third of a postage stamp!!!
brian
Saturday, 28 January 2017
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jasper
money savers
bananas
fruit
stickers
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