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the war inside your medicine cabinet
brian
Friday, 06 July 2018
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toothpick
floss
teeth
fighting
splinters
the scruff gene
brian
Tuesday, 03 July 2018
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beards
generations
skipping
dads
grandfathers
cookies who care
brian
Sunday, 01 July 2018
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gingerbread
gingerbread houses
solar
energy
money savers
"i thought i crashed into lenny!"
brian
Friday, 29 June 2018
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wind chimes
wind
rehearsals
music
told ya!
brian
Wednesday, 27 June 2018
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sentences
finisher
loud guy
douchebags
"i forget... our lips are or aren't supposed to move?"
brian
Thursday, 21 June 2018
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ventriloquists
dummies
auditions
"alexa, please read them their miranda rights!"
brian
Monday, 18 June 2018
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cops
police
lazy
alexa
foreign policy circa 1902
brian
Friday, 15 June 2018
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presidents
early drafts
teddy roosevelt
history
syllable hall-of-fame inductee
brian
Wednesday, 13 June 2018
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haiku
first
today’s special is a burger made completely out of oxygen
brian
Monday, 11 June 2018
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hungerstrike
restaurants
menus
eating
hunger
rest in peace peace
brian
Friday, 08 June 2018
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death
cemetery
siamese twins
twins
and, of course, i'll need your fingerprints
brian
Thursday, 07 June 2018
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notary
cast
signatures
broken bones
james harden has a hot tub in his
brian
Friday, 01 June 2018
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beards
airbnb
hotels
facial hair
i also do an incredible impression of richard nixon!
brian
Wednesday, 30 May 2018
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dating
annoying
gargle
yodeling
relationships
according to yelp there's a great smoothie place in walking distance
brian
Saturday, 26 May 2018
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gilligan
peninsula
islands
skipper
point of no return
brian
Friday, 25 May 2018
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caves
idiots
stalagmites
stalactites
no wonder they're never late for work!
brian
Thursday, 24 May 2018
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coffee
sleep
wake-up
caffeine
also, ease up on the magnesium supplements
brian
Thursday, 17 May 2018
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banks
pigs
piggy banks
x-rays
doctors
oh yeah! maple syrup all over everything!
brian
Tuesday, 15 May 2018
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trees
porn
leaves
sex
still more entertaining than "one lady snapping gum"
brian
Sunday, 13 May 2018
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podcasts
bad
annoying
throats
throat-clearing
no need to bring anything besides your flesh
brian
Friday, 11 May 2018
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animals
eating
interpreters
dinner
why insects should never bartend
brian
Wednesday, 09 May 2018
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hippos
ants
beer
micro-brews
bars
and you might want to vary your all-spinach diet
brian
Sunday, 06 May 2018
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popeye
trainer
gyms
working out
top hat hair
brian
Thursday, 03 May 2018
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lincoln
einstein
hair
haircuts
still better than karaoke gargling
brian
Tuesday, 01 May 2018
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bars
singing
flops
whistling
karaoke
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