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brian
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brian has not set their biography yet
but only because he said he went to yale
brian
Monday, 13 January 2020
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Cartoons
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bigfoot
wine
resume
wines
jobs
but still no "jesus" until 5,000 b.c.
brian
Tuesday, 07 January 2020
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B.C.
cavemen
babies
names
ancient history
he also kicked me but only with his right foot!
brian
Saturday, 04 January 2020
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drummer
hitting
court
courtrooms
drum sticks
lawsuits
all-monthers
brian
Saturday, 28 December 2019
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groundhogs
meth
hibernate
sleep
mammals
winter
and dim the lights
brian
Wednesday, 18 December 2019
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bears
hibernate
alexa
sleep
caves
the caption is superfluous
brian
Saturday, 30 November 2019
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minimalists
hoarders
marie kondo
squirrels
tree
nuts
control yourselves, ladies!
brian
Monday, 25 November 2019
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mustaches
facial hair
hair
birds
germs
faces
and also thanks for giving us horrible posture
brian
Friday, 15 November 2019
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raccoons
vultures
thanksgiving
idiots
thanks
even the winner choked
brian
Thursday, 07 November 2019
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heimlich
food
olympics
medals
windpipe
the octopus is psyched!
brian
Saturday, 02 November 2019
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plastic bags
oceans
recycling
environment
bags
hey, i could be a resume writer!
brian
Tuesday, 22 October 2019
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side hustle
homeless
struggles
economy
money
oceanic eulogies
brian
Thursday, 17 October 2019
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jellyfish
oceans
spines
bones
mean
fish
plays bagpipes on "the sound of silence"
brian
Saturday, 12 October 2019
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third wheels
simon and garfunkel
bands
music
musicians
robot unemployment remains at 0%
brian
Wednesday, 09 October 2019
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robots
jobs
unemployment
roomba
bars
and you can't talk and not be insensitive at the same time
brian
Monday, 23 September 2019
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wheelchairs
gum
walking
reading
idiots
the bar gets even more defensive
brian
Monday, 09 September 2019
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pies
charts
pie charts
business
conference rooms
businessmen
or just let me cut your head off
brian
Thursday, 05 September 2019
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requests
movie theaters
tall
vertebrae
then i can start paying back my student loans for business school!
brian
Monday, 02 September 2019
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metal detectors
beach
beaches
coins
idiots
money
and don't worry about birth control
brian
Tuesday, 27 August 2019
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senior citizens
sex
hearing aids
swingers
condoms
but crullers are free
brian
Thursday, 22 August 2019
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donuts
unreasonable
stores
expensive
fryers
although he insists it's just hair growth meds
brian
Friday, 16 August 2019
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peds
steroids
trains
little engine
children's books
actually he just really hates myra
brian
Tuesday, 13 August 2019
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truckers
wheels
19th wheel
5th wheel
myra
i will also make a milkshake come out of my penis in the middle of the night!
brian
Wednesday, 31 July 2019
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magic
magicians
low-skilled
sandwiches
asses
no, but there's an applebee's
brian
Saturday, 27 July 2019
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smoothies
lewis
clark
lewis and clark
explorers
third wheels
the mobius strip of careers
brian
Monday, 22 July 2019
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life coach
life
coach
losers
bars
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See Brian discuss his book on the Hallmark channel
Read the NY Times piece Brian wrote
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