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or on your nose when you use it to push the elevator button
brian
Wednesday, 04 March 2020
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coronavirus
disease
vaccines
idiots
escalators
purell
they've both got a point
brian
Saturday, 29 February 2020
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facists
differences
vanilla
ice cream
idiots
just wait until he finds out about hawaii
brian
Wednesday, 26 February 2020
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EDT
PT
time zones
california
pennsylvania
late
3 hours
when i snap my fingers you will be a stuntman!
brian
Wednesday, 19 February 2020
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hypnotist
hypnosis
action movies
director
sleepy
or you could just google it
brian
Thursday, 13 February 2020
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subways
stalactites
stalagmites
idiots
time
tastes just like sriracha!
brian
Tuesday, 11 February 2020
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jasper
money savers
money savers
tips
blood
ketchup
no malarkey!
brian
Thursday, 06 February 2020
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similes
felix unger
malarkey
punch
howdy doody
noun v. verb
brian
Monday, 03 February 2020
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restaurants
tables
reserved
nouns
gregarious
"i guess now we can put away these round signs"
brian
Friday, 31 January 2020
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idiots
earth
flat-earthers
flat
organizations
free splenectomy with every appendectomy! everything must go!
brian
Friday, 24 January 2020
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hospitals
sales
medical
hearts
bypass
spines
anesthesia
a jarring experience
brian
Sunday, 19 January 2020
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jars
museums
pennies
tips
mason jars
containers
but only because he said he went to yale
brian
Monday, 13 January 2020
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bigfoot
wine
resume
wines
jobs
but still no "jesus" until 5,000 b.c.
brian
Tuesday, 07 January 2020
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B.C.
cavemen
babies
names
ancient history
he also kicked me but only with his right foot!
brian
Saturday, 04 January 2020
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drummer
hitting
court
courtrooms
drum sticks
lawsuits
all-monthers
brian
Saturday, 28 December 2019
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groundhogs
meth
hibernate
sleep
mammals
winter
and dim the lights
brian
Wednesday, 18 December 2019
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bears
hibernate
alexa
sleep
caves
the caption is superfluous
brian
Saturday, 30 November 2019
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minimalists
hoarders
marie kondo
squirrels
tree
nuts
control yourselves, ladies!
brian
Monday, 25 November 2019
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mustaches
facial hair
hair
birds
germs
faces
and also thanks for giving us horrible posture
brian
Friday, 15 November 2019
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raccoons
vultures
thanksgiving
idiots
thanks
even the winner choked
brian
Thursday, 07 November 2019
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heimlich
food
olympics
medals
windpipe
the octopus is psyched!
brian
Saturday, 02 November 2019
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plastic bags
oceans
recycling
environment
bags
hey, i could be a resume writer!
brian
Tuesday, 22 October 2019
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side hustle
homeless
struggles
economy
money
oceanic eulogies
brian
Thursday, 17 October 2019
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jellyfish
oceans
spines
bones
mean
fish
plays bagpipes on "the sound of silence"
brian
Saturday, 12 October 2019
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third wheels
simon and garfunkel
bands
music
musicians
robot unemployment remains at 0%
brian
Wednesday, 09 October 2019
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robots
jobs
unemployment
roomba
bars
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