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brian
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"i'm freezing"... "me, too."
brian
Monday, 28 January 2019
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penguins
elephants
animals
coming soon: the trampoline filing cabinet!
brian
Friday, 25 January 2019
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desks
evolution
bungee
scuba
desk
ahoy, foot matey!
brian
Tuesday, 22 January 2019
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pirates
socks
optimists
and george washington is wearing a powdered wig!
brian
Friday, 11 January 2019
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spoilers
spoiler alert
paul revere
british
heads ups
someone just stole a sock!
brian
Thursday, 10 January 2019
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laundry
laundromats
security
dull
her feet will live to be 170
brian
Wednesday, 02 January 2019
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secrets
longevity
aging
age
old people
slippers
"don't use my name on that one, dude" -- confucius
brian
Tuesday, 25 December 2018
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anonymous
quotes
confucius
"do you know where i can find a rabbit?"
brian
Sunday, 23 December 2018
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pandas
hookers
bears
sex
bad
bamboo
your car insurance will cover two cleanings a year
brian
Tuesday, 18 December 2018
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dentists
idiots
cars
drive-thru
bad ideas
and one of the bedrooms has candy!
brian
Friday, 14 December 2018
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pokemon
kids
houses
real estate
"i don't look at street signs, pal, so just lick my hat when you see one"
brian
Tuesday, 11 December 2018
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never
yield signs
signs
cabs
uber
the other two days i eat tide pods
brian
Friday, 07 December 2018
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secrets
longevity
old people
laundromats
aging
sometimes honesty is the second best policy
brian
Monday, 03 December 2018
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sex
pomegranates
melissa
honesty
marriage
i'll sleep even more when i'm dead
brian
Wednesday, 28 November 2018
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longevity
age
secrets
pills
old
old people
old-timers
next on the agenda: two months of only savasana
brian
Sunday, 25 November 2018
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yoga
retreats
cat
cow
stretching
dodging death
brian
Wednesday, 14 November 2018
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longevity
secrets
old people
maple syrup
aging
both purchased on august 3rd, 1841
brian
Saturday, 10 November 2018
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court jesters
presidents
top hats
hats
lincoln
with my american express card
brian
Thursday, 08 November 2018
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dog food
remarkable
unremarkable
1850
amazing
hope the woodpecker gives you migraines!
brian
Tuesday, 30 October 2018
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squirrels
trees
trash-talking
look! it's you looking at these people looking!
brian
Sunday, 28 October 2018
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birds
watching
bird watching
woodpeckers
nature
my maid of honor was a stick
brian
Thursday, 18 October 2018
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dogs
dog
man
friend
tennis balls
bones
kites
and it doesn't look anything like the valentine's day box of chocolates i got
brian
Tuesday, 16 October 2018
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worlds worst
worst
cardiologist
hearts
idiots
idiot
or in a roll-on?
brian
Thursday, 11 October 2018
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whoop ass
can openers
supermarkets
cans
the dude with the narrower tongue?
brian
Wednesday, 10 October 2018
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harmonica
air harmonica
hard to tell
coin-flip
you can see the entire great wall when you're flying in
brian
Thursday, 20 September 2018
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idiots
china
travelling
travel
worlds worst
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