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70% off all rolls of pennies!
Friday, 01 July 2016
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banks
chapter 11
out of business
it takes the ellipses an hour to order something
Wednesday, 29 June 2016
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air quotes
question marks
sarcasm
scotch
or maybe it's cause dog-earing pages is back in vogue?
Sunday, 26 June 2016
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bookmarks
idiots
stores
he's also the 14th bee gee
Thursday, 23 June 2016
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monkey
beatles
music
how's the weekend of the 17th?
Tuesday, 21 June 2016
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lions
lion tamers
circus
i'd love to be a fly on the wall to have heard the flies on the wall speak!
Friday, 17 June 2016
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flies
walls
vegetarian cannibalism
Wednesday, 15 June 2016
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pizza
cheese
cannibals
and he already has a theremin
Monday, 13 June 2016
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alligator
harmonica
trombone
musical instruments
why centipedes rarely get hired in the restaurant industry
Friday, 10 June 2016
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centipedes
hand washing
restaurants
he's also urinating
Tuesday, 07 June 2016
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car wash
multi-tasking
laundry
teeth
shampoo
tomorrow's bedtime story: fahrenheit 451
Friday, 03 June 2016
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firemen
matchbooks
horror
matches
and there's no need to ever wash your legs!
Wednesday, 01 June 2016
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bugs
food
five-second rule
that's like comparing apples to another type of apple
Monday, 30 May 2016
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idiots
analogies
bad analogies
frisbees
varicose veins
but you are covered for earthquakes
Thursday, 26 May 2016
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house of cards
insurance
scams
must contain at least one number and two asterisks
Monday, 23 May 2016
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linkedin
passwords
cheaper than advil
Saturday, 21 May 2016
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woodpeckers
migraines
secrets
everyone goes home happy... sort of
Tuesday, 17 May 2016
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robbers
suicide
death
at least he understands gravity
Sunday, 15 May 2016
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idiots
garbage
beds
and some microdermabrasion for your collar
Friday, 13 May 2016
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botox
clothes
los angeles
wrinkles
"don'tcha hate it when you forget to take out your invisalign before you pop in a cherry?"
Tuesday, 10 May 2016
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lozenges
conventions
stand-up
making lemmings out of lemmingade
Friday, 06 May 2016
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lemmings
death
cliffs
someone needs a chiropractor referral
Tuesday, 03 May 2016
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hunchbacks
notre dame
scoliosis
3.5%?
Friday, 29 April 2016
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restaurants
tipping
the tambourine just filed assault charges
Tuesday, 26 April 2016
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courtrooms
court
triangles
drywall has zero calories
Friday, 22 April 2016
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drywall
diets
mice
models
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See Brian discuss his book on the Hallmark channel
Read the NY Times piece Brian wrote
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Brian and Sam on Salon
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Been There, Drawn That
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birds (26)
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jasper (21)
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small mammals (20)
restaurants (20)
relationships (19)
worlds worst (18)
money savers (18)
superheroes (18)
chapter 11 (17)
stores (16)
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