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and there's no need to ever wash your legs!
Wednesday, 01 June 2016
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bugs
food
five-second rule
that's like comparing apples to another type of apple
Monday, 30 May 2016
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idiots
analogies
bad analogies
frisbees
varicose veins
but you are covered for earthquakes
Thursday, 26 May 2016
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house of cards
insurance
scams
must contain at least one number and two asterisks
Monday, 23 May 2016
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linkedin
passwords
cheaper than advil
Saturday, 21 May 2016
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woodpeckers
migraines
secrets
everyone goes home happy... sort of
Tuesday, 17 May 2016
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robbers
suicide
death
at least he understands gravity
Sunday, 15 May 2016
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idiots
garbage
beds
and some microdermabrasion for your collar
Friday, 13 May 2016
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botox
clothes
los angeles
wrinkles
"don'tcha hate it when you forget to take out your invisalign before you pop in a cherry?"
Tuesday, 10 May 2016
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lozenges
conventions
stand-up
making lemmings out of lemmingade
Friday, 06 May 2016
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lemmings
death
cliffs
someone needs a chiropractor referral
Tuesday, 03 May 2016
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hunchbacks
notre dame
scoliosis
3.5%?
Friday, 29 April 2016
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restaurants
tipping
the tambourine just filed assault charges
Tuesday, 26 April 2016
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courtrooms
court
triangles
drywall has zero calories
Friday, 22 April 2016
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drywall
diets
mice
models
and you never signaled!
Wednesday, 20 April 2016
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traffic
road rage
history
the lettuce is in intensive care
Monday, 18 April 2016
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lettuce
intensive care
expiration dates
milk
death
and stay out of the soup, show-off!
Thursday, 14 April 2016
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knives
forks
unions
silverware
cutlery
be careful not to swallow the tiny harmonica
Monday, 11 April 2016
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violin
tiny violin
whiners
musical instruments
wishful thinking
Friday, 08 April 2016
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heimlich
speakerphone
public places
it's only 1300 fitbit steps to the top of the mountain
Tuesday, 05 April 2016
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sisyphus
cross-training
exercise
giant rocks
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children are dumb!
Thursday, 31 March 2016
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chickens
easter egg hunt
easter
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not quite as exciting as the o.j. trial
Tuesday, 29 March 2016
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small claims court
courtrooms
court
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the leopard's spots are sharpied on by a monkey
Monday, 28 March 2016
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zebras
tattoos
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he also has arthritis in three other arms
Friday, 25 March 2016
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handicap
octopi
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also makes it tougher to steal office supplies
Wednesday, 23 March 2016
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naked
offices
casual fridays
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See Brian discuss his book on the Hallmark channel
Read the NY Times piece Brian wrote
Read about
Brian and Sam on Salon
See Brian and Sam on 'THE LIST'
Been There, Drawn That
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