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if you can prove you have asthma i'll bump it to 9
Wednesday, 28 June 2017
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wind chimes
jobs
blowing
lottery
*not related to spellcheck mcgregor
Thursday, 22 June 2017
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proofreader
proofreading
spelling
jones
proofreader jones
unfortunately glass won't be invented for another 100,000 years
Friday, 16 June 2017
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cavemen
optometrists
mammoths
he also yells when i pee in the house but HE pees in the house!
Tuesday, 13 June 2017
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dogs
chocolate
scams
poison
take a xanax, leggy!
Thursday, 08 June 2017
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butterflies
caterpillars
stomachs
nervous
nerves
metamorphosis
and his gingivitis was practically gone!
Monday, 05 June 2017
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invisalign
funerals
do bicep curls for free down at the junkyard!
Wednesday, 31 May 2017
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jasper
money-savers
money savers
toothbrushes
gyms
occam's tweezers
Thursday, 25 May 2017
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achilles
podiatrists
and my eyebrows are no longer unruly!
Tuesday, 23 May 2017
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cavemen
haircuts
"also, how am i able to type so accurately with no fingers?"
Monday, 01 May 2017
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dogs
google
fire hydrants
please frisk me!
Wednesday, 26 April 2017
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mr. lonely
cops
hot chocolate
no spit takes until the apocalypse
Friday, 21 April 2017
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saliva
spit takes
envelopes
emergencies
emergency
but they do like to travel up the ball return
Tuesday, 18 April 2017
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clowns
bowling
bowling shoes
buy one onion ring get a free mozzarella stick!
Friday, 07 April 2017
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witness protection
improv
65g7tjgatgjajea!!!!
Tuesday, 04 April 2017
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iphones
dating
passwords
love hurts
Friday, 31 March 2017
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dogs
bad blind dates
blind dates
sex
let's at least invest in some tabasco
Wednesday, 29 March 2017
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vultures
hibachi
we wish you had one, too
Sunday, 26 March 2017
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dogs
anal glands
tails
tail envy
the main reason octopi die
Thursday, 23 March 2017
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octopi
octopus
smoking
seventh-hand smoke
second-hand smoke
although on a train he kinda sticks out
Monday, 20 March 2017
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flight risk
courtrooms
court
icarus
now download snapchat!
Thursday, 16 March 2017
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dogs
instagram
millenials
tricks
turbo snail
Tuesday, 14 March 2017
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snails
speeding
cops
sister souljah's on the road
Saturday, 11 March 2017
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father time
mother nature
kid rock
my jaw has carpal tunnel
Monday, 06 March 2017
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boomerangs
dogs
tennis balls
balls
btw: kibble wasn't tasty the first time, pal!
Saturday, 04 March 2017
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dogs
pizza
kibble
dog years
dog food
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Brian and Sam on Salon
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Been There, Drawn That
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chapter 11 (17)
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