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brian
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i don't wanna know what he does in the deep end
brian
Wednesday, 17 June 2020
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pools
swimming
swimming pools
goggles
urine
peeing
i'll be knocking out all your teeth in the next 12-18 months!
brian
Tuesday, 16 June 2020
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corona
coronavirus
social distancing
bars
fights
bar fights
my coulrophobia just went down 90%
brian
Friday, 12 June 2020
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clowns
clown cars
corona
coronavirus
pandemic
limos
and you can't borrow my towel, either
brian
Monday, 08 June 2020
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corona
coronavirus
gyms
spots
social distancing
health
which is wiped out by $400 on hand-sanitizer
brian
Friday, 05 June 2020
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corona
coronavirus
sunscreen
Sun
mr. positive
that crushed up carton of orange juice was awesome!
brian
Thursday, 04 June 2020
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netflix
bored
recycling
garbage
neighbors
pandemic
coronavirus
corona
it's rod stewart's ass, numbskulls!
brian
Tuesday, 02 June 2020
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ass
asses
game shows
contestants
scottie pippen
only because arcade fire wouldn't fit
brian
Thursday, 28 May 2020
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mt. rushmore
hall and oates
rock stars
idiots
music
musicians
that's either really expensive, really cheap or really in-between!
brian
Thursday, 21 May 2020
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idiots
details
prices
money
stores
vague
another ivy leaguer with bad luck
brian
Sunday, 17 May 2020
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corona
coronavirus
idiots
salesmen
deodorant
stinky
what's on second is very misleading!
brian
Wednesday, 13 May 2020
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third wheels
abbott and costello
who's on first?
baseball
idiots
mr. versatile
brian
Sunday, 10 May 2020
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idiots
corona
coronavirus
bars
relationships
corona porn
brian
Thursday, 07 May 2020
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mouths
melissa
corona
coronavirus
sex
dating
relationships
please toss me my gifts now
brian
Wednesday, 06 May 2020
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corona
coronavirus
birthdays
idiots
social distancing
cakes
and rumor has it they share a bathroom sink!
brian
Monday, 04 May 2020
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gossip
idiots
happy anniversary
anniversaries
harry
sex
the guy who doesn't text
brian
Sunday, 03 May 2020
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corona
coronavirus
whispering
cheating
bartenders
bars
"i'll need a tetanus shot first." -- jelly
brian
Thursday, 30 April 2020
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third wheels
peanut butter
jelly
pliers
nails
odd trios
"hey, how come i don't get a cape?"
brian
Monday, 27 April 2020
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batman
superheroes
third wheels
robin
batmobile
seatbelts
cars
bring your own straw
brian
Friday, 24 April 2020
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bars
corona
coronavirus
virus
straws
drinks
alcohol
bee best
brian
Tuesday, 21 April 2020
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virus
bees
essential workers
workers
coronavirus
corona
remember to wash your shared hands
brian
Friday, 17 April 2020
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twins
siamese
germs
virus
siamese twins
coronavirus
corona
right lung collapsed
brian
Tuesday, 14 April 2020
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social distancing
germs
board games
twister
coronavirus
corona
let me get a biopsy with my drone
brian
Sunday, 12 April 2020
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corona
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dermatologist
virus
telescope
germs
doctors
intergalactic social distancing
brian
Thursday, 09 April 2020
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leader
virus
social distancing
coronavirus
corona
aliens
the hammock became useless
brian
Tuesday, 07 April 2020
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corona
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islands
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